Persephone's Pomegranate
78 reviews393 followers
Kurt Cobain once said: 'Nobody dies a virgin... life fucks us all.' He also said 'If you're a sexist, racist, homophobe, or basically an asshole, don't buy this CD. I don't care if you like me, I hate you.' Everyone's heard of Kurt Cobain and Nirvana. Even if you haven't listened to their music, you've likely seen the smiley face t-shirts that young people still wear today, more than thirty years after Kurt's passing. I'll begin this review by jumping straight into the drama. I'm not sure how to feel about this book. It's a good read, but certain parts bothered me. Some Nirvana fans dislike this book because they claim it's been approved by Courtney Love, which means it's dishonest. Oh, well, whatever, never mind. As some reviewers have noted, the author took certain liberties that he probably shouldn't have. For example, he writes about Kurt's thoughts during his final moments, which is highly unethical. We can't possibly know what Kurt was thinking because he's no longer with us. It's impossible to accurately depict his final thoughts since he didn't share them with us. This is a common issue in true crime as well. Some podcasters and YouTubers will narrate a murder story and then describe the victim's thoughts and emotions. But how can anyone truly know the victim's final thoughts if they are no longer alive? Have some morals, for crying out loud. I'll talk about Courtney Love and the conspiracy theories related to Kurt's death, but before that, let me share some details about Kurt. He was born on February 20, 1967, in Aberdeen, Washington, a small logging town at the base of the Olympic Peninsula. According to Kurt himself, he didn't enjoy living there. He mentioned that he had a happy childhood until his parents divorced when he was nine. His relationship with his parents was tense and challenging, leading to a tumultuous adolescence. Kurt's father was strict and would resort to corporal punishment whenever he felt Kurt was misbehaving. It seems like Kurt longed for a more emotional connection with his father, which might explain why he harbored resentment towards him even as he grew older. Kurt was full of energy (possibly due to undiagnosed ADHD) and was prescribed Ritalin at the young age of seven. A controversial choice, but hey, it was the early 70s. Scientists believe that Ritalin may trigger a Pavlovian response in children and raise the risk of addiction in the future, as was the case with Kurt. In high school, Kurt started playing music with his friend Krist Novoselic. Krist, born in Compton, California, to Croatian immigrant parents, moved to Aberdeen as a teenager, where he crossed paths with Kurt. After high school, Kurt struggled to figure out his path, taking odd jobs and experiencing homelessness, crashing on friends' couches. It was finally time to say goodbye to Aberdeen for good. Moving to Olympia, the capital of Washington, brought him freedom and contentment. Olympia was a hub for young artists at the time. His girlfriend, Tracy Marander, provided him with emotional and financial support. She was the inspiration behind his song About a Girl. Kurt and Krist started jamming more often and soon became an established band. Nirvana's debut studio album, Bleach, was released in 1989, but it was their second album, Nevermind, released in 1991, that catapulted them to fame and solidified Kurt Cobain as a cultural icon. Although Nirvana had multiple drummers, it was with Dave Grohl that they achieved their greatest success (Dave Grohl, a music legend in his own right, formed Foo Fighters after Kurt's passing). Nirvana's rise to fame shone a spotlight on the Seattle music scene, putting an end to hair metal and sparking a new fashion trend. Teenagers were tired of listening to the same repetitive songs about girls, sex, and wild parties. They were tuning in to the raw lyrics of Pacific Northwest bands addressing themes like depression, struggle, and social problems. Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Alice in Chains, and Soundgarden were hailed as the Big Four. Now we come to the unavoidable. Courtney Love. Some view her as a feminist icon and a rock legend, while others see her as the Wicked Witch of the Pacific Northwest who manipulated Kurt and then killed him. Kurt and the singer and guitarist of the rock band Hole crossed paths in 1990 and immediately became obsessed with each other. They got married in 1992 and welcomed a daughter, Frances Bean Cobain, that same year. It was not a healthy relationship. They argued and used heroin together, and there were rumors that she was unfaithful to him. The book doesn't reveal the whole truth about their relationship. I understand why some people believe the author is friends with Courtney, as he made a strong effort to steer clear of controversial topics. Many speculate that Courtney was responsible for the deaths of not only Kurt but also her bass player, Kristen Plaff, and El Duce. El Duce claimed in the 1998 documentary "Kurt & Courtney" that Courtney offered him money to kill Kurt. He was hit by a train eight days after the interview, leading to suspicions that Courtney silenced him. It's quite a tale, but seriously, can we really trust someone named El Duce? Am I supposed to believe that Courtney Love is a diabolical mastermind who orchestrates murders and stages them as accidents, successfully evading justice? Is she also a time traveler and the real assassin of President Kennedy? Do I think Courtney Love is a good person and a feminist? No. She has terrorized many people and assaulted women whom she perceived as threats. Do I think she's the female Ted Bundy? No. Do I think she killed Kurt? No. Is Kurt's death suspicious? Yes. Kurt's lifeless body was discovered by an electrician in the greenhouse of his Seattle home on April 8th. He passed away on April 5th, but his body went unnoticed for three days. Kurt was expected to be undergoing rehab, but he fled the clinic and returned to Seattle. His death was attributed to a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head. The book's author failed to address any of the peculiar circumstances surrounding his demise. Many people believe Kurt was murdered because he had three times the lethal dose of heroin in his system, making it impossible for him to shoot himself. The scene of death was contaminated and the case was not thoroughly investigated. Tom Grant, a former detective and private investigator hired by Courtney Love to locate Kurt after he went missing from the rehab center, still claims Courtney Love killed Kurt. He has a lot of information about this case, which can be found online. He also made a documentary called Soaked in Bleach and appeared in the documentary Kurt & Courtney, so if you're interested, you can check those out. I don't think Courtney killed Kurt. I simply wanted to bring attention to the details that the author chose to omit in the book. Kurt's closest friends believe he took his own life, and they have no reason to defend Courtney as they do not have a good relationship with her. Kurt was a troubled and sensitive individual, and it's possible that he couldn't cope with his depression any longer. However, there are some strange aspects surrounding his death that are difficult to overlook. Regardless of what truly happened, Kurt is no longer with us. He was only 27 when he died. Kurt's impact on the world was comparable to that of John Lennon. Just like Lennon, he was considered the voice of his generation. His daughter Frances was primarily raised by his mother Wendy due to Courtney's struggles with substance abuse. Frances appears to be a well-adjusted young woman and a talented artist. She shares her father's passion for painting. I'll end this review with my favorite Nirvana lyric. Give me a Leonard Cohen afterworld, so I can sigh eternally. But for Kurt, it didn’t matter that other people loved him; he simply didn’t love himself enough.
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Elaine Mullane || Elaine and the Books
948 reviews343 followers
Charles R. Cross's Heavier Than Heaven isn't just one of my favourite biographies; it's one of my favourite books. A few years ago, when I had my own music blog, I had the incredible opportunity to interview Cross. I thought I would include that piece here as a tribute to this wonderful book about one of music's most iconic and dearly missed figures. Seattle is a place I have been obsessed with from an early age. Cameron Crowe’s 1992 film Singles (and its incredible soundtrack) is partly to blame for this. The Washington city is famous for many things: its coffee, its rainy weather, the Space Needle, the Experience Music Project, and Science Fiction Museum and Hall of Fame. Seattle is also noted for its famous people- the city is the motherland of the famous computer wizard and Chairman of Microsoft Corporation, Bill Gates, the birthplace of rock legend Jimi Hendrix and the last place the late Nirvana frontman, Kurt Cobain, called home. I finally got to visit Seattle in the summer of 2007. I was visiting my college friends in Vancouver and we planned a weekend roadtrip to take in “Rain City”. One of our first stops when we arrived was the Experience Music Project (EMP), a museum in Seattle dedicated to the history and exploration of popular music. EMP is especially famous for its permanent exhibition, the Northwest Passage, which is dedicated to the history of music in the Pacific Northwest, including bands from the grunge music genre, and the life and work of Jimi Hendrix. EMP has also held various exhibitions on other popular music acts, including Bruce Springsteen, Bob Dylan, The Beatles and Kurt Cobain. The museum is also famous for its Guitar Gallery, dedicated to the history of the guitar, and its massive sculpture entitled Roots and Branches, made largely out of musical instruments, especially guitars. It was such a great experience to get to see EMP and learn all about the history of Seattle music. The part of me and my friends’ trip that excited me the most, however, was getting to see the house that stands at 171 Lake Washington Boulevard E., the house where, on 5th April 1994, Kurt Cobain would take his own life. There is a kind of morbid curiosity in seeking out Cobain's former house in the Denny-Blaine district of Seattle. It’s not just about being in the place where Cobain lived but also being in the place where he died. My friends and I knew only the address, driving up and down Lake Washington Blvd. E. for over twenty minutes before we found it. The large house sits on a blind corner on a winding road, lying just up the hill from the Western shore of Lake Washington. It is situated almost directly across the lake from the $100 million house later built by the aforementioned Bill Gates. Standing outside the front gate of the mansion, it was hard not to marvel at how far Cobain had come before his death, from his humble beginnings in the small logging town of Aberdeen in Washington. When I visited Seattle, the infamous greenhouse where Cobain had died was long gone. It was demolished in 1996, a year before Cobain’s wife, Hole frontwoman Courtney Love, sold the house. She was quoted as saying that the constant stream of distraught fans was too much for her to handle and that the building had become "bigger than the Space Needle." On the day that I stood outside Cobain’s former home, things were much quieter. Love sold the house to new owners in 1997 when she and Cobain’s daughter, Frances Bean, moved to Beverly Hills in California. The new owners have done all they can to enforce what little privacy they have in the former home of someone so famous. They have fenced and landscaped the property, as well as adding a security gate with an electronic call box, which is much more common in the Hollywood Hills than in Seattle's Denny-Blaine. Security cameras are mounted at various points on the exterior of the house, which makes it quite impossible to get anything other than a limited view of the house. Believe me- I tried. Even climbing a tree in the neighbouring Viletta Park (or “Kurt’s Park” as it’s more commonly called) didn’t help a huge amount. Though he was gone thirteen years when I visited his former home, Cobain’s legacy is still very much there. Viletta Park’s two benches are covered with the graffiti from fans who have visited the site in the years since Cobain’s death. The comments are an incredible read; some are words of love and respect, some words of anger from young people who feel huge loss and loneliness as a result of Cobain’s death. Some fans have left Nirvana lyrics, poetry and even verbal abuse regarding Cobain’s wife. There were also remnants of colourful wax from someone having burned candles at the time I visited. It was in this park that Love talked to the throngs of fans that gathered immediately after Cobain’s death. It felt both strange and surreal to be at Cobain’s former home, to sit in Viletta Park and be just inches from the gate through which his body was carried out just thirteen years previous. My trip to Seattle wouldn’t have been the same without that experience, without seeing the last place that Cobain called home. Seattle is the birthplace of the music style known as “grunge”, which was made famous by Nirvana, as well as local bands such as Soundgarden, Alice in Chains and Pearl Jam, hence the term “Seattle Sound”. Since the grunge era, Seattle is a vibrant hub of American music, hosting a diverse and influential music scene which many influential bands, labels and music venues call home. The record label Sub Pop- the first to sign Nirvana and Soundgarden- is also based in Seattle. One person who is particularly familiar with the city’s rich music history is music journalist and author Charles R. Cross. Charles R. Cross was born in Virginia, where he spent much of his childhood. When his father became a professor of psychology, the family travelled to a variety of university towns, including Richmond, New York, Connecticut and lastly Washington, where Cross attended high school. He later graduated from the University of Washington in Seattle with a degree in Creative Writing. While in university, he served as Editor of the Daily in 1979, and caused a whole lot of ruckus when he left the front page of the newspaper blank. The only type was a small line that read “The White Issue,” in deference to the Beatles’ White album. After college, Cross served as Editor of The Rocket, the Northwest’s music and entertainment magazine, from 1986 through 2000. The Rocket was hailed as “the best regional music magazine in the nation” by the L.A. Reader. Cross wrote stories on such seminal Northwest bands as the Sonics, the Wailers, Jimi Hendrix, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, Alice In Chains, the Screaming Trees, and hundreds, if not thousands, of lesser known bands. In addition to The Rocket, Cross’s writing has appeared in hundreds of magazines including Rolling Stone, Esquire, Playboy, Spin, Guitar World, Q, Mojo, Salon, Spy, Uncut, NME, Request, No Depression, Revolver, Ray Gun, Creem, and Trouser Press. He has written for many newspapers and alternative weeklies including the London Times, the Los Angeles Times, the Oregonian, the Seattle Times, the Seattle Post-Intelligencer, and Seattle Weekly. He has lectured and read at universities and colleges around the world, and has frequently been interviewed for film, radio, and television documentaries including VH1’s “Behind the Music.” Cross is the author of seven books, including the New York Times bestseller Heavier Than Heaven, 2005’s Room Full of Mirrors: A Biography of Jimi Hendrix, the revealing Cobain Unseen and his most recent release, Led Zeppelin: Shadows Taller Than Our Souls. Cross is also Associate Editor of Backstreets Magazine, an internationally circulated quarterly that focuses on Bruce Springsteen and related Jersey Shore artists, which he also founded in 1980. Cross’s interest in music stemmed from a very early age, taking in a range of music genres or, as he himself says, “everything that was around at the time”. Asked what he listened to in particular, he named Bob Dylan, the Beatles, Carole King, James Taylor, the Rolling Stones and Bruce Springsteen as the acts that had the most influence on him growing up. Being a huge fan of rock, Seattle was immediately a place Cross felt comfortable. In one of his many articles that he wrote for the Seattle Times, Cross wrote "Seattle has always had more of an appetite for hard rock than other cities". When I questioned him on this he stated that this was because “it's a blue-collar town with shipyards and Boeing plants- that kinda blue-collar fan has always liked to rock”. In particular, writing about Northwestern bands has always been hugely important to Cross. Since he first began writing, he has been compelled to write about the bands that he truly loves. When I asked him who were his favourite bands to write about or interview, he answered: “Well, Soundgarden, Pearl Jam and Nirvana, definitely, but I also loved the Walkabouts, the Screaming Trees, and other underrated bands”. Another thing that Cross has always been interested in is biography, especially writing about the lives of people in music. His biographies on Jimi Hendrix and Kurt Cobain provide true insight into the lives of both men, particularly the latter, which has been described as one of the most revealing and intimate accounts of one of music’s most influential figures. When I asked him what first drew him to this particular genre he replied: “I have always loved biography and reading things like the Charles Lindbergh biography by A. Scott Berg and Titan: The Life of John D. Rockefeller definitely influenced me. And of course Peter Guralnick's Elvis books...” When I spoke to Cross, he was fresh from reviewing the Soundgarden reunion gig at the Showbox at the Market in Seattle for Rolling Stone magazine. When I asked Cross about the show, Soundgarden’s first since their break up in 1997, he said it was “exciting”. “There was a sense of spontaneity”, he added, “that suggested anything could happen”. Cross also commented that although it was a “great show”, it also made him feel “sad” that we will “never see a Nirvana reunion show”. In the city that Cross calls home, it is impossible not to be reminded of the fact that Nirvana, one of the greatest and most influential bands the world has ever seen, are no more. As he stated in the opening chapter of Heavier Than Heaven, Cross lives less than a mile from Stan Baker Shooting Sports on Lake City Way, the store where the Nirvana singer and guitarist purchased the shotgun that was responsible for his death. I asked Cross if that was unsettling, to which he replied: “It can be creepy. I guess it can be both haunting and inspiring depending on the weather”. Regardless of the weather, Seattle is rife with reminders of Cobain and Nirvana, from the aforementioned Stan Baker’s and independent record label Sub Pop to the many music venues scattered around the city where the band played whilst trying to make it big. Cross and Nirvana's path first intersected in 1989, when The Rocket, which Cross was editor of at the time, did the first cover story on Nirvana. Witnessing first-hand their transition from underground band to being one of, if not the, most famous bands of all time is something that very few people can boast about. When I asked him what his first impressions of the Nirvana were, Cross answered: “I liked them because of their pop side. I, like everyone else in Seattle, thought Mudhoney would be the bigger band at the start. I think one thing that’s important for people to remember is that early on the band were pretty darn ragged. They toured America five times before they became famous. I certainly had followed the band very closely and saw them live a number of times. I loved the early band stuff, was a big fan of the material from the beginning”. I also asked Cross about his first encounter with Cobain: “I was editor of The Rocket, which at the time was the music magazine in Seattle. Kurt had actually used our magazine on at least three different occasions advertising for a drummer. Every time Nirvana would lose a drummer, he’d come in the office and place an ad- ‘Band seeks drummer’. So, I knew him casually from the scene”. It was clear Cross had much interaction with the Nirvana frontman during his rise to fame but I was eager to find out what kind of relationship he had with Cobain. “Even as his biographer and someone who knew Kurt, I wasn’t his best friend. And I was editor of a music magazine. We were always gonna have the kind of relationship where he was gonna be sort of suspicious. He clearly respected what I did. I had the benefit of a biographer of going through Kurt’s personal effects and things. He kept copies of my magazines and articles that I had done among his stuff. That, I guess, is the ultimate compliment that a music star could pay a journalist. So, I was respected in the world he was in”. Cobain’s death in 1994 affected people all over the world and will continue to be remembered as one of the most devastating days in music history. Naturally, I asked Cross where he was at the moment he heard that Kurt Cobain's body had been found. “I was in my office at the Rocket. I knew before it went public; I was one of the first people to find out. I had contributed to a radio show here in Seattle and when the electrician who was working at Kurt's house found his body, that electrician's company called the radio station. I think the infamous words were, ‘You're gonna owe me some great Pink Floyd tickets for this news.’ That radio station called me before they went on air to see if they could confirm it because they knew I was sort of closer to that scene than they were. So, I remember hearing the news to this day. My reaction was, ‘No. It can't be Kurt.’ But at the same time, it's part of the denial. I knew it was him. Everyone in the Seattle scene knew he had struggles. I kept hoping that the body that was discovered would not be Kurt, that it would be mistaken and instead would be one of his drug-buddy friends. And of course, that wasn't the case. It was heart-breaking to get the news, just like it was for everybody who was a Nirvana fan”. In his journals, which were first printed in 2002, Cobain’s struggles were clear for anyone to see, or to read about rather. He battled with a chronic, undiagnosed stomach problem, he struggled with addiction and he was tormented by the demons of his past, particularly his parents’ divorce. He also battled constantly with the pressures of fame, the idea of being completely exposed and feeling like he was losing most of his privacy by moving further and further into the limelight. I was particularly interested in two contradictory statements Cobain wrote in his journals: "Don't read my diary when I'm gone" and "Please read my diary...Look through my things, and figure me out". I asked Cross which of these statements did he think was the most truthful and did he ever battle with the question of whether or not Cobain would have wanted his thoughts, words and drawings to be made available to the world. “I did, yes, but Kurt left his diaries out open on his coffee table so that said something to me. One of the more difficult things as a biographer was looking through Kurt’s journals and seeing how often he would write about his addiction and essentially beg God to please help him with it. He did not want to continue to suffer and basically wrote in his journals, ‘God, I will do anything. Please, please, please help me.’ Unfortunately, that help did not come”. As well as writing about Cobain, Cross has written extensively on Jimi Hendrix. His book Room Full of Mirrors: A Biography of Jimi Hendrix provides an in-depth account of the life of the rock legend, capturing him perfectly. During his research for this book, which included interviewing over 325 people, Cross rediscovered the place where Hendrix’s mother, Lucille Jeter Hendrix, was buried which, oddly enough, lies only 40ft from where Hendrix himself now lies in Greenwood Memorial Park in Renton, Washington. The gravesite of Lucille Hendrix was lost because the standard welfare marker of her day, an inscribed brick, became buried in decades of mud from the area's notorious heavy rains. Cross delivered a moving eulogy for Lucille when a proper headstone was dedicated at the site. I asked Cross how it felt to uncover something so significant: “Eerie... My son was with me and he still talks about it and he was just a toddler at the time”. Cobain and Hendrix had many things in common- they both were left-handed guitar players, both died at 27, had four-year musical careers and had battled drug addiction. They also both lived in Seattle, a city with one of the most notable music scenes in the world. I asked Cross if he felt enough had been done to honour both men in Seattle. “The answer is no. The city should honour them more. In the UK, they’ve got their blue plaques; we should have something like that here”. The last thing I asked Cross was how he thought Kurt Cobain should be remembered, to which he replied: “Well, I think first and most importantly, he will be remembered for those songs. I think that's the reason we're talking about him still today. The quality of that songwriting I think will last and has lasted. That is ultimately the way I think he will be remembered. I think he will be remembered for creating this incredible body of work. The circumstances of his death and all those other things matter far less now sixteen years later. It's truly those songs and that music that is his legacy. Kurt was very unique and that’s the thing I think we miss now so long after his death. The great sadness is that we can’t hear that voice again. That’s the thing I miss. It’s sad for anyone who’s a fan of the music. Kurt was the biggest rock star in the world the year before he died. Sixteen years later, I’m not sure there is another rock star who is as enigmatic and compelling. He remains one of rock’s legendary figures. There has not been one single figure that I think ranks with Cobain since his death. That’s not to say there aren’t people putting out great records and there aren’t people that I love their music, but there’s nobody that combines that personal charisma, the musical quality and most importantly the songwriting genius that Kurt Cobain had. That’s the reason I think his legacy has endured”. Charles R. Cross still lives in Seattle. He continues to write for numerous publications, both Seattle-based and beyond.
While researching and writing his books on Cobain, Cross was given access to the Cobain estate, allowing him the opportunity to sift through intimate pictures and personal items, many of which he included in Cobain Unseen. I asked Cross about this experience. “Courtney controls the Kurt Cobain estate, which basically by an estate, is a bunch of stuff in a storage locker. But she trusted me. When I wrote my 2001 biography of Kurt, which pre-dated Cobain Unseen, she gave me access to his material. Cobain Unseen somewhat grew out of discussions around that book where I kept saying, ‘the stuff in Kurt’s locker is amazing stuff. You ought to let the world see it...he was an amazing artist.’ At one point she came to me and said, ‘OK. You can do the book.’ So, I was given access to the archives, with no parameters put on the use of Kurt’s stuff”. I also questioned Cross on whether it ever felt like he was delving too deep with his work, if he ever felt uncomfortable going though Cobain’s things, to which he replied: “There were things I left out. With every book, what you leave out is just as important as what you put in”.
- 2017-books 2018-books favourites
Gabrielle
1,100 reviews1,582 followers
I read this book years ago, and I remember enjoying it, but not much more than that. Last fall, I found a used copy of a “Montage of Heck” Blu-ray at a small record store in Kingston and immediately bought it, as I had been meaning to watch it for a while. And maybe I am getting old, maybe my 90s nostalgia is getting the best of me and maybe I am sentimental sap, but I cried so much watching that damn movie. I’ve been around musicians enough to know that they can be both the best and the worst people, and I have few illusions about Cobain having been any kind of saint, and perhaps this is just good editing, but that movie captured such a great sadness in him, and it really struck a nerve with me. I looked for my copy of “Heavier Than Heaven”; it appears one of my brother’s friends borrowed it and never gave it back. Those little shits are the reason I don’t lend books anymore. Anyway, I saw that there was a new updated edition out there, so I hunted that down and here we are. I was a little too young to really get Nirvana when they were a big deal; this was a rearview mirror and secondhand situation for me, but it didn’t stop me from having my socks blown right off when I started getting into it. They played one of my favorite dives in Montreal, in the “Bleach” era if I am not mistaken (that place would not have been able to handle “Nevermind” era sized crowds), and one of their flyers is immortalized under a thick layer of shellac on one of their table tops; it always makes me smile when I end up at that table. But even today, when I get in the mood and put the legendary “MTV Unplugged” record on and listen to their cover of “Where Did You Sleep Last Night”, something inside me rattles and my heart breaks just a little bit for that poor boy (I’m 40, he was 27; he now is, and always will be, a boy) who held so much pain inside him. The story of Kurt Cobain is in many ways a classic story of a brilliant and creative young person who battled inner demons who eventually got the best of him, someone who got hit with success so early and so fast that there was no time to process it or put his success in the right place mentally. Reading a book about him is strange at time, because I wasn’t able to stop myself from thinking about how much time he had left to live in relations to the events I was reading about. It’s also strange when the cycle of trendiness has brought 90s music and clothes back in the mainstream; there was a good ten or fifteen years during which saying you liked Nirvana was terribly passé, but now, expressing a fondness for them is met with an appreciative nod and a declaration that they are “classic”. Urgh. Something that stuck me in “Montage of Heck” that I hadn’t really realized before (perhaps because I was too young to think about it with the correct perspective) is that his parents, like many parents of their generation, had no idea what to do with a challenging child who had symptoms of depression and anxiety, so they sent him to a shrink who put him on meds (and eventually went as far as to basically kick him out of their houses), and that was that. Cross goes over that period of Kurt’s life, of course. The sad fact is that parenting in the 70s, 80s and 90s was a lot about managing disruptive children into being less troublesome for their parents and teachers than about figuring out why they were disruptive in the first place, and that makes me quite sad. I wonder if his life would have been very different if his folks had actually taken time to address his sadness and his anger, but that’s the sort of thing we will never know. It also feels somewhat cliché as hell to say that some children are genuinely traumatized by their parents’ divorce (I’m always amazed when I meet people my age whose parents are still together – that’s a thing?!), but it happens, and the trauma is very difficult to process, sometimes well into adulthood – and while Cross doesn’t try to analyze Kurt’s behavior, the signs of trauma are fairly obvious. People blame Courtney Love for a lot, but his folks definitely got the ball rolling… The later parts of the book, that go over how much he loved his daughter and how terrified he was of not being the father he would have wanted to have are simply heartbreaking. It's also not uncommon for children of divorce to have strong ideals about love and romantic relationships: they crave intensity and stability because the chaos and impermanency of being raised in a split family is a discomfort they never want to experience again. The way Kurt attached a lot of meaning to sex and his relationships with women was not a surprise; it’s an extremely common yearning of kids raised by divorced parents. And on that topic, if you loathe Courtney Love, you will probably find that Cross is very forgiving of her, and paints her in a rather positive light. I’ve seen a few reviews calling this out because he needed her approval to publish this book, but as someone who has fairly neutral feelings about her, I have to say that I don’t think he made her into a saint. She comes across as deeply caring for Kurt, but carrying a ton of damage of her own into the relationship, and her history with drugs certainly didn’t help Kurt, but it doesn’t seem likely to me that she was the one who got him hooked. He had romanticized the idea of being a junkie rock star long before she was a part of his life. The bottom line is that I totally get why people dislike her (I am happy to listen to my old Hole records, but I wouldn’t hang out with her), but I also think that there is little she or anyone could have done to steer Kurt off the path he was on. I also got the strong sense as I re-read this book, that so much of Kurt’s abrasiveness was a defense mechanism, meant to protect a very tender part of himself he didn’t trust the world with. In fact, both this book and “Montage of Heck” gave me the feeling that Kurt was someone haunted by sadness and longing, and that the only way he could successfully express those things was through his music. It’s why it remains relatable and fresh even today (yes, I did listen to a ton of Nirvana as I was reading this, I am a sentimental twit who processes emotions through music): times may have changed, but people still feel deeply alienated, they still crave unconditional love and they still long for a world without bullshit – so they still listen to Kurt’s music and get it. Cross worked really hard to stay as objective as he could as he sorted through the enormous amount of material he gathered as someone who was an insider of the music scene – he had known quite a few of the main actors personally through his work. I appreciate that, as he doesn’t project too much in his writing, but it does feel a little clinical at times. Obviously, anyone reading this who has any kind of emotional attachment to Nirvana’s music is going to do their fair share of projection, and he was probably trying to give his readers the cleanest slate possible, which I appreciate. When this book was originally published, Kurt had been dead for five or six years; the new edition marks the 25th anniversary of his passing, and Cross made a few interesting additions about how he feels there hasn’t really been another rock star like Kurt Cobain since, and explains his reasoning with discussing how different the music industry is today, but also specifically how we access music now vs. when Kurt was growing up. Having read Chuck Klosterman’s book “The Nineties” recently, I think he might be on to something, the same way that film-makers who were influenced by the video store culture developed a distinct style that would not have been conceivable in different circumstances. Kurt remains an icon because he was a bit like lightening in a bottle: recreating him is simply impossible. This skinny little twerp with weird hair will always have a special place in my heart. This book is filled with great insights about him and how he became someone he never had the chance to get comfortable with. Cross is right: there just might never be another Kurt Cobain, for better or worse. For the Nirvana fans, the nostalgic idiots and those curious about a very weird, very specific moment of rock history.
- biographies-and-memoirs non-fiction own-a-copy
Danesda
215 reviews261 followers
Acabo de terminar este libro biográfico, escrito por el periodista Charles R. Cross sobre el cantante y autor kurt Cobain; y la verdad debo decir que es uno de los mejores documentos sobre la historia de la música que he podido tener en mis manos, al margen de una edición hermosa y bien cuidada por parte de la editorial Reservoir Books (que me hizo pensar mucho sobre el libro como objeto y su valor intrínseco) está muy bien documentado, es valiente y además muy interesante porque no solo nos cuenta una vida que entrelaza las vidas de toda una generación sino que nos da a conocer realidades alternaras sobre las ideas preconcebidas que muchas veces tenemos de nuestros ídolos. Recuerdo que yo era una niña cuando en 1994 se anunci�� por todos los medios de comunicación que Cobain había sido encontrado muerto en su casa (se había pegado un tiro en la cabeza con una escopeta) creo que se podría decir que prácticamente toda mi generación quedo en silencio, fue uno de esos momentos que sabes son realmente históricos porque representan un punto de inflexión del que no se puede regresar jamás. Yo había ahorrado lo que podía de mis recreos para comprar mi primer cd, cuando fui a la disco tienda le pregunte al vendedor cuál de los álbumes de Nirvana (estaba segura del grupo) le recomendaría a una persona que seguramente solo podría comprar uno durante el resto de su vida, me dijo sin dudarlo “In Útero” es el mejor pero el más histórico es “Nevermind” quédate con ese último porque será algo memorable que querrás tener por siempre y así lo hice. Esto lo cuento para que se hagan a una idea de lo representa este grupo de Grunge (género al que prácticamente dieron inicio) para las personas que crecimos en esa época. Kurt Cobain no solo era un genio creativo, era una persona con múltiples inseguridades y seguridades que sufría de constates conflictos existenciales surgidos de una personalidad sensible en un entorno hostil (muy de mi generación) por ello se nos hace tan cercano que de alguna forma lo sentimos como el amigo malogrado que todos quisimos pero aun así nadie pudo ayudar. Aunque debo confesar desde chica y hasta el día de hoy mi Nirvana favorito es Krist Novoselic por buen amigo, excelente persona, activista político y musical, granjero, aviador y punk irreverente. Cobain siempre será recordado como la persona que lo gesto todo de forma meticulosa logrando el cambio que la música rock necesitaba, ya que desde unos años atrás se había dado lugar a una vertiente musical de pelos largos, vestidos de colores, maquillaje estridente, letras pegajosas y sin sentido; él le dijo alto a todo ello, seremos nosotros los que gritaran, los olvidados de los barrios pobres, los enfadados con un sistema social y educativo excluyente, los que vestimos zapatillas de deporte, pantalones rotos y camisetas descoloridas, los que tenemos sueños que son grandiosos por sencillos, los que no creemos que exista un lugar en el mundo donde posar nuestra confianza, seremos nosotros los que gritaremos y así lo hizo. Grito, grito más fuerte que nadie. En Nirvana Kurt era el gran talento ideológico y espiritual, Dave era el llegado al final que corría a adaptarse armado de su gran capacidad musical y Krist era el corazón, el que hacia las paces con los otros y entre los otros, el que se erigiría como la barra que sostiene el barco que parece irse al fondo en la gran tormenta. Y por eso es que funcionaron porque cada uno desde su lugar supo dar todo lo que tenía y enfocarse en lo importante que era cambiar las cosas y generar posibilidades de expresión artística autentica. Llevaron su ética punk a un lugar donde su irreverencia (aunque utilizada por el mercadeo al final) les permitiría transformar una realidad y un futuro para todos nosotros. Pero mientras los conciertos, la fama y el dinero llegaban (apoyados en gran medida de MTV cuando este era un canal de verdad) Kurt sufría no tan en silencio de múltiples circunstancias que le hacían imposible adaptarse a la realidad que el mismo había construido, era hipersensible, lleno de culpa, en una relación matrimonial llena de amor y conflictos, tenía serios problemas con las drogas, no se sentía a gusto con la dirección comercial que el grupo tomaba, no se sentía ético con su público, era azotado de fuertes dolores estomacales, fantaseaba con el suicidio, se alejó de sus amigos más queridos, era padre de una nena a la que temía decepcionar como sus padres hicieron con él y estaba atrapado en un pequeño cuerpo en el que nunca se sintió cómodo y que envejecía cada día alejándolo del ideal juvenil que la sociedad tanto publicita; en resumen Kurt tenía miedo y no sabía qué hacer para salir de aquel atolladero sin dejar muertos en la calzada. Así que hizo lo que pensó mejor para todos, fue el quien dejo su cuerpo para que los demás tuvieran que velarlo. Y con ello nos cambió a todos, nos dijo alto que las cosas no son un carnaval, alto que las cosas no son como un comercial en MTV, nos hizo sentarnos a todos a tomar aliento y reconfigurar lo que pensábamos del mundo y de la idealización de los pelos largos, las drogas, la música, la rebeldía y el suicidio. Nos dijo alto que las cosas no van por buen camino que aunque logres gritar, la sociedad sigue siendo un gran monstruo que se los come a todos, alto que no es la adaptación ni la rebeldía total la respuesta; el problema es que nos dejó a huérfanos a Frances Bean y a los demás que quisiéramos haber tenido la oportunidad de conocerle cuando pudiera sobrellevar sus conflictos, quisiéramos saber la respuesta a las preguntas que se planteaba, quisiéramos saber si dichas inquietudes realmente tenían algún tipo de solución. Cuando comencé a leer el libro debo confesar de que no me encontraba en el mejor lugar del mundo, atrapada física, mental y socialmente en una realidad de la que no disfruto había olvidado quien era realmente, me había dejado absorber por la necesidad del cada día, ya no escribía, ya no hablaba con mis amigos, ya no escuchaba música, ya no soñaba. Leer el texto me dio la oportunidad de reencontrarme conmigo misma y estoy convencida ese es el primer escalón para poder transformar mi situación actual, porque solo cuando nos aceptamos y conocemos podemos reestructurar nuestras vidas; busque mi pulsera de cuero y volví a sentir la fuerza y el deseo de comerme el mundo, deje un poco de lado el atolladero y me permití volver a aspirar, perdonarme y seguir. Últimamente las cosas no han ido bien y no lo digo solo por mí, lo digo por lo que puedo ver en la mayoría de miembros de mi generación, personas altamente educadas, inteligentes, sensibles y sin oportunidades reales, algunos atrapados en matrimonios vacíos, trabajos acomodados y rutinas agobiantes y otros absolutamente perdidos, sin un lugar para llamar suyo y con los sueños cada vez más lejos de la posibilidad de cumplirse porque en un país donde a los 25 ya se considera que estas muerto social, laboral y emocionalmente (como el mito de Caicedo, hay que matarse a los 25 con 60 pastillas de seconal) se están perdiendo las mentes y corazones de toda una generación tirada a la desesperación como si fueran basura que se arroja al rio. Debemos dejar de idealizar la juventud y ver a las personas por lo que realmente son, los chicos no son los únicos que pueden soñar, capacitarse y generar cambios y los viejos no son los sabios muertos andantes descartables en la sociedad. Los años biológicos no son más que esos, no son un factor determinante en la valía de una persona. No se está muerto cuando llegas a los 30, se está muerto cuando dejas de soñar. Finalmente diré que la historia de un hombre no es solo la historia de sus más íntimas inclinaciones, miedos y sentimientos; también es la historia de la generación que lo rodea y la herencia social de sus precedentes; así que la historia de un hombre viene a convertirse en la historia de todos, Kurt creció donde no quería y tuvo que luchar por sobrevivir sin lograr nunca adaptarse a un entorno que ni el entendía ni lo entendía a él; Kurt cambio las cosas, pero no fue fácil su lucha y al final dejo mucho dolor y sangre en el camino. ¿Entonces qué es lo más importante, la meta o el camino? Maquiavelo diría que la meta, Lewis Carroll que el camino yo les diría que no se, al final los cuerpos siempre terminan en el atolladero, entonces dejemos volar un poco las almas que es lo único que nos queda. (De alguna forma el libro me recuerda a la película Requiem for a Dream de Darren Aronofsky; esa no la ponía de chicos y al final la terminaron por convertir en una especie de amenaza, si tomas drogas, si te apartas del camino, si sueñas este será tu final) 21 mayo 2019. video reseña en:
Entonces empecé a leer el libro de Cross y empecé a sentir la inquietud de nuevo en mi corazón, empecé a escribir, empecé a investigar, empecé a escuchar música y quise comunicarlo. Es allí cuando publique algunos mensajes en las redes sociales, referentes al suicidio y los órdenes y problemáticas sociales; una persona que no niego tenía buenas intenciones me increpo con angustia solicitando que si estaba deprimida y quería acabar con mi vida (porque si uno habla de esos temas en público quiere decir que tiene depresión) fuera a su casa, yo me quede en silencio sin saber si reír o llorar por una parte había logrado captar la atención sobre el problema pero por otro me daba cuenta de lo tabú que resulta hablar sobre estos temas de forma abierta. Quizás por ello casi todos los míos tenemos a alguien cercano que ha muerto por suicidio; hablarlo parece que da miedo, parece algo que debemos esconder debajo del tapete. Frances Bean Cobain, Courtney Love, Dave Grohl y Krist Novoselic lo han expresado en múltiples ocasiones, el suicidio, las drogas, los desórdenes mentales y los problemas sociales son asuntos muy serios que deben dejar de ser tabú o idealizaciones adolescentes y ser enfrentados como lo que son, debemos sacar el oso que escondemos en el refrigerador y afrontar la realidad de que muchas personas y quizás nosotros mismos necesitemos ayuda. Debemos apartar el miedo para permitir que historias como la de Kurt no se repitan de forma sistemática como hasta ahora viene sucediendo, que alguien hable de ello no debe ser vergonzoso, debe ser lo que es, tomar el toro por los cuernos y reflejar la suficiente empatía en el otro para dejar de ser solo entrometidos y convertirnos en manos amigas.
Yo no creo que sea mejor quemarse que apagarse lentamente, creo que es mejor quemar al mundo y ya.
Jeroen Decuyper
152 reviews29 followers
"I had never asked you to make me care about you but it happened - against the hype, against the odds - and now you are in my imagination forever. And I figure you're in heaven too. But how exactly does it help you now, to know that you, too, were once adored?" Dit schreef de Canadese auteur Douglas Coupland in een brief aan Kurt Cobain, net na zijn dood in zijn essaybundel "Polaroids from the Dead". Ook al vond ik deze bundel van één van mijn favoriete auteurs (die eer dankt hij bijna enkel en alleen aan zijn cultboek "Generation X") wisselvallig van toon en flets geschreven, is deze brief lang blijven hangen. Samen met het verhaal "The German Reporter", voor de volledigheid. Ik weet nog dat ik toen, net de twintig gepasseerd, iets gelijkaardigs voelde. En ook nog precies waar ik was toen ik het nieuws te horen kreeg dat de frontman van één van de bands die mijn adolescentie en mijn verdere muzieksmaak mee vorm gegeven hebben, zichzelf voor de kop geschoten had. "Heavier than Heaven", de naam van de Europese tour van Nirvana in 1989, kon geen passender titel zijn voor dit boek. Voor mij was het de eerste biografie die ik ooit gelezen heb, en ik heb het me nog geen seconde beklaagd dat het die van Kurt Cobain was. Charles R. Cross heeft zich voor zijn boek gebaseerd op meer dan 400 interviews en had inzage in massa's authentieke documenten, waaronder correspondentie en dagboeken van de zanger. Hoe hij uit die verscheidenheid aan bronnen zo'n consistent en uitgebalanceerd verhaal kon puren, is mij een raadsel. En hij doet dat zonder enig waardeoordeel, maar eerder als een bevoorrechte getuige, een verslaggever, een onzichtbare toeschouwer. Tussen de grote verhaallijnen en gebeurtenissen door geeft hij een schat aan anekdotes, petites histoires en citaten mee, waardoor het verhaal letterlijk geen seconde verveelt. Enkel op het einde, in het laatste hoofdstuk ("Een hiernamaals als dat van Leonard Cohen, april 1995 - mei 1999) verandert de toon, wordt hij wat (melo-)dramatisch en gaat hij soms kort door de bocht. Wat jammer is, maar na meer dan 400 pagina's leesplezier vergeef je dat de auteur maar al te graag. Naast zijn kindertijd en jeugd, getekend door de scheiding van zijn ouders en door het opgroeien in Aberdeen, word je deelachtig aan de weg die Kurt Cobain aflegt richting roem en de dikke miserie die daar in zijn geval mee gepaard gaat. Een paar van zijn liefjes passeren de revue, tot hij bij Courtney Love eindigt. Dat het verhaal over de relatie met de frontvrouw van Hole veel genuanceerder is dan het beeld dat de pers na de dood van Kurt ophing, spreekt voor zich. Mooi ook om te zien hoe andere artiesten en groepen waar ik als tiener en prille twintiger naar opkeek, het privéleven van de zanger in- en uitschuiven: Mark Lanegan, Axl Rose, Sonic Youth en last but not least, Billy Corgan, om er maar een paar bij naam te noemen. Voor mij persoonlijk waren de vele passages waar de genese van songteksten aangehaald en uitgepuurd werd, de mooiste en de interessantste. De teksten die we mee brulden op fuiven en gretig - ja, zelfs met een zekere verbetenheid - herlazen en analyseerden, krijgen door dit boek een extra gelaagdheid. Een extra betekenislaagje doordat je de negen versies die aan de uiteindelijke lyrics voorafgingen te zien krijgt. Voor wie ze bedoeld waren en vanuit welk perspectief Kurt ze geschreven heeft. Noodzakelijk is het niet om de muziek ten volle te appreciëren en te vatten, maar het is een machtig extraatje bij de nummers en de muziek die tot ons collectief geheugen behoren. Of we het nu willen of niet.
- gelezen-in-2020